The Depressing Story Of John Walsh #1: When The Homeless Get Revenge

The date was Nov. 2nd 1957. This is a story that has been forgotten for many years, but is as old as Daniel day-Lewis, who also has been forgotten for many years. A man named John Walsh just lost his retail buisness, because he Invested 100% of the stores money in condoms for women. Not condoms women give to men, but condoms for the women to wear. Needless to say, chicks don’t got dicks, and he went bankrupt.

The second he lost his money his wife left him for a man who sells racist Asian speed limit signs. Times were different back then. His wife took his daughter, his son, and the family doctor he was secretly having an affair with. The 4 bedroom house was foreclosed on, the car was towed. Lofe looked dark….. but then!….. it got even worse.

Luis Romano his boss was assassinated with a laptop during a brutal corporate takeover, and John Walsh was one of the many who lost their jobs. John was evicted from his motel, and forced to live on the streets.

While on the streets he got a new job, a job older than this story, the worlds first profession. He became a prostitute. That’s the sort of thing you just can’t keep secret for forever, and eventually all of his old friends, and enemies were driving by and laughing at him, as he hung out on his street corner.

John worked as a prostitute for 5 years, and he had caught syphilis, herpes, bird flu, and the west Nile virus. That’s when he decided enough was enough, and he did a brutal corporate takeover of his own. He got all 12 of the other prostitutes together, and they had a mutiny against the Pimp.

The battle was long, and hard. Though don’t forget that beating long hard things is a prostitutes job. They overthrew the powerful Pimp, and elected John Walsh as their new Pimp. And The era of Pimp John the third has began.

More Coming Soon

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